My Sunday Night Ritual 

**This is NOT a substitute for medical advice or therapeutic treatment from a licensed professional. This is my own experience.**

May is Mental Health Awareness Month and this is part of what that looks like for me. And what it may look like for you.

This is my Sunday night ritual: antidepressant, allergy meds and a multivitamin. Filling up these little compartments is drudgery. Even though it’s not fun, it only takes a minute or two. I do it for my family. I do it for friends. I do it for coworkers.

And I do it for me.

This hasn’t always been part of my routine. In fact, no mental health measures were taken prior to the loss of my son, over 7 years ago. But his loss made therapy necessary and I credit counseling with a licensed professional for playing a huge role in the woman I am today. I stopped counseling altogether once I felt strong, but regret that now. A check-in every now and then would have served me well.

Almost two years ago, things got really dark in my brain. Kinda scary, in fact. I should have spoken up but, my brain wasn’t functioning properly. It was desperately hard for me to feel genuine happiness and sometimes even sadness when it was entirely appropriate to be so. My notoriously short temper was at an all time deficit. Sleep was unattainable and when I woke up at night, my mind raced for hours on end.

It was the lack of sleep that really drove me to the doctor’s office, I just couldn’t take it anymore. It felt strange to be so honest about what I was experiencing. I confessed that I almost canceled my appointment because I felt great that morning. Once we got to the bottom of how rare days like this had become, I filled the prescriptions he suggested.

Gradually, the darkness began to edge away instead of being so damn invasive. After several weeks, I was feeling lighter, but still felt like it wasn’t quite enough, that things could be even better. I (literally) hung my head in shame as I asked for more, and my doctor reassured me that things were headed in the right direction. And that sometimes different people need different amounts of medication—adjustments are completely normal. Then he spoke some truth that I needed to hear, and maybe you do, too.

He was kind enough to tell me that my brain should be treated with the same care as any other part of my body.

Do you see those other two bottles in the picture? Did I feel shame about taking something to help me survive Texas allergies? Did I feel shame about taking a multivitamin to support my body’s health? Did I feel shame about taking medicine for a headache? If I had broken my leg, would I feel shame for seeking medical help to mend it?

No.

Why do we treat the brain differently? Why do we feel like mental health measures should be kept secret or deferred as long as possible, until we let the depression or anxiety (or both!) take over our entire lives? No other part of the body is treated with such stigma, like the brain.

Before I started down this road, I genuinely belived that medication was fine for literally anyone else who needed it...except me. Two years ago I was so broken inside that it felt like defeat. Surrender.

Today, I’m so grateful I started this new part of my mental health journey. It’s helped me in so many ways at home, at work and in social situations. It’s helped me to hear the Lord better, if I’m being truthful. Yes, Jesus and therapy do mix quite well together, thankyouverymuch. It’s even helped me realize that it’s time to return to counseling to address other parts of my life where I could use a boost of support. I need new tools to navigate this season of life and I'm relieved that I have someone to guide me through it.

As my friend Christine (an LPC) says, “There’s no bad time to start therapy.” It’s not necessary to have something hard going on in your life to start seeing someone. It’s time we start talking about having a counselor with same benign manner that we do about having a dentist, an OBGYN, a family doctor or a chiropractor.

If you need a place to start, you can start at https://www.gatheringhope.net/counselors. We’ve only begun to scratch the surface and are looking to expand our relationships outside of Texas. Until then, PsychologyToday.com is a great launching point. Or call your primary care physician. It can be difficult, but it will be worth it.

YOU are worth it, Mama.
-Peyton